“Given that so many students live on or near campus, should ODU have cancelled school on Wed Feb 18?”

My Thesis Statement: The safety of the staff and students of ODU is very important, and nobody should be at risk of getting seriously injured in this weather therefore it was a good idea for school to be cancelled.

Topic Sentence 1: Many students live on campus and professors might live nearby, but most of the sidewalks are not cleared off making it unsafe to walk to class.

Topic Sentence 2: Commuter students would face the risk of getting into a car accident or getting their vehicle stuck in the snow because the majority of the “back streets” aren’t cleared off.

Topic Sentence 3: It is better to have a “make-up” day than to have any of our monarchs hurt or lost.

https://docs.google.com/a/odu.edu/document/d/1dYa2gJJhs9Z9dJLp6Pw_4UMTCD-fYCVAXdTUyn8wsmE/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/a/odu.edu/document/d/1FTmaYegHcvvw0w0KDAC-7KLHmlyHvw_iahT87FQiYsc/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/a/odu.edu/document/d/1zucbMxy1mbqmq6AzqrER6kuPQs9e9L80g6_LOr0BsR8/edit?usp=sharing

I think that for my first essay I should have received more helpful feedback. I received some comments about how it was a “good story” or that it was “well written”. I do appreciate those comments and the fact that my peers were nice enough to make those statements, but as I said in my previous journal entry, I want to see what others may see that  I may be doing wrong. For others to see past the story and actually focus on the grammar or to see if my thoughts flow, or if they are understanding the points that I am trying to make.

I think I was very direct with my revision on my peers papers because I saw that some were writing how they text. I catch myself doing that as well but I automatically correct it.  I really want my peers to see what is wrong with their writing so that they can also improve and do better in the following courses because other professors will not be so nice about grading your papers. I have seen professor rip papers up or grade with 0’s and tell students to go back to high school. It is rough!

As I revised, I realized that  I did not have topic sentences. I somewhat had a thesis, but I did not start off this way. Once the essay was written I looked for it. That is something that I will definitely be doing from now on; starting an essay the correct way.

I am currently a junior, and decided to take this course because I have been told by previous professors that my grammar and my paper’s content needs a lot of improvement. They liked the ideas that I have, but they say that my work does not necessarily “flow”. Although I learned English when I was five years old, it is my second language and I am usually thinking and writing in Spanish. I am from Laredo, Texas where the dominant language is Spanish and 95% of the population there are Mexican. I lived there up until I was 18 years old.

Now, I will be required to write formal research papers in the following courses for my major, and I do not wish to fail at this. That is why I have decided to enroll in this course. I hope to identify and improve the errors in my papers. At first I saw this as being a draw back because I could be taking a course in my major and spending my money on that, but then I realize that I will not succeed in the other courses if I do not do this. Therefore, this is not a waste of money and so far in the week that I have been enrolled in this course I have seen that it will be an advantage for me to be here.

What  I expect to be difficult will be looking at my papers from a different perspective and reading the comments from my peers. Other then that I am looking forward to seeing major improvements.

The basics about me:

I am 26 years young and I am twice divorced. I have a 4 year old son. I am a Navy Veteran, and am still serving our country part-time in the Air National Guard/ Air Force. I am a Parks Recreation and Tourism Management major currently on my Junior year and I plan on using that to work as an event coordinator somewhere in California once I graduate next Spring. I enjoy working out and participating in events outdoors. That is just the basic things you should know about me. As for my personality…

The acronym I live my life by is T.H.I.N.K. I have a tattoo on my left forearm of the word “think”. T.H.I.N.K. stands for True,Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind.

Last summer I attended Technical School in Ft. Lee to learn about my new career in the Air National Guard. There were people of all ages in my class and I noticed that just about every one of them was talking very negatively about others or about events happening around the world or back home. It was very disturbing. I pointed it out to my colleague who is a Christian. She told me that in her point of view these were just “fillers”, words to fill in the time while we waited for our next event in the class. She also told me that there was a verse in the bible that said it was not right to talk about others negatively. I agreed to that despite that I have never read the bible. Now, just because I was annoyed by what the others were speaking did not mean that I had never had a negative thought or spoke a negative word. All I knew was that from that moment on, if what I had to say was not True, Helpful, Inspiring , Necessary, or Kind I would keep it to myself and replace the thought with something positive to say.

These are some words that I live by and it has changed my life. I come across more positive people and I feel as if the environment I am in is full of positive vibes ever since I have been doing this. I do catch myself from time to time wanting to criticize, but I look at my forearm and realize that everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got.

I have become more positive and try every day to create a positive environment for others.

Moving forward positively.

This is me.